How Lame Am I???

Okay, so it's true. I am the lamest blogger you have ever encountered, followed, read, etc. I take no offense to the charge. Truth is, my last post was 2 months ago, which in blog years is equal to a little less than a century or something crazy like that. I had the best of intentions with this darn blog. I cook, so why not document my cooking for my friends and my family and those who don't cook? It started off great, then slowly it fizzled out as life got busier. My sincere apologies. I don't think I had any idea of what being a real "blogger" was all about. I left you all hanging with the promise of grand Thanksgiving recipes, and still have yet to post any recipe resembling stuffing, turkey or potatoes. Thanksgiving day, I think, is where this whole blog took a bit of a turn. I agree, I had been slacking leading up to Turkey day, but what happened on Thanksgiving put a little chip of my shoulder. Bear with me as a explain my absence from blogging and cooking...

As most of you know, Brian and I are currently living in Denver, Colorado. We moved out from Cali in August. During those first few months the blog gave me something to do. I had no friends, no family, no job and I left all my paint supplies in the old house garage in Bakersfield...so thus, no hobbies. All I had was my little Mac and an ability to make some kick-ass Mac and Cheese. Blogging about food, cooking, etc seemed to be a natural way to create and share a bit of myself.
I didn't know much about blogging though. I hated any computer class I ever had to take, and the only reason I made in thru AutoCAD in my design classes was because Dr. Murray thought I was fabulous in every other class.
So I did my basic posts and went on with my day. Then, curiosity got the better of me and I started researching blogs, food blogs, family blogs, all different kind of blogs:) And guess what I found out??? My blog looked pretty lame. It was hard to navigate, there was no central index for recipes, and my pictures were stupid looking. It was a little hard to swallow. And totally depressing.
Then, I got a job and got a little distracted. I cooked less because after being on my feet in platform stilettos all day I didn't feel like cooking. I felt like drinking a glass of wine and going to bed. I still posted, albiet at a slower rate and with recipes I tried to remember as I sat at the computer.
Leading up to Thanksgiving, I was so thrilled to make my first Thanksgiving all by myself. I thought I was going to be the bees-knees with the best from scratch, totally homemade Thanksgiving. I had a cooking schedule, a million dollars worth of food in the fridge and a plethora of family recipes. Then, I ended up working a few extra days. There went my cooking schedule. My friend Caitlin called a few days before Thanksgiving for some tips and I told her I hadn't got around to posting but gave her a laundry list of what I was making. "They'll be on the site in a day or two." At the time, it wasn't a lie. But, the days before Thanksgiving got filled with work, I was missing friends and family and my morale was low. Thnaksgiving morning I woke up early and started on my revised cooking plan. I immediately knew why my mom was always getting after all of us kids. We really didn't know how much work went into this whole day. So then, I became instantaneously annoyed with Brian, who is the best guy ever. Poor Brian, he thought he was going to have a nice Thanksgiving, just the two of us. And here I was bitching and moaning about all the work. How lame.
Anyways, I stopped complaining and went on with my cooking. I put my turkey in the oven, and the other dishes in the fridge ready to be warmed when the turkey came out. After a half an hour, I basted the bird and turned down the temp. A few minutes later I heard a sizzling and went to check the oven, even though the Turkey had hours left. And that freaking bird was burnt to a crisp. The broiler was on!!!! I looked at the temp. The oven read 325 degrees but the hairs on my arms could have sizzled off, that oven was so hot. Then, the oven shut down. It broke. Error messages flashed where the temperature is supposed to be displayed. I was defeated. Alone on Thanksgiving, with a burnt (yet still raw) bird and a stupid oven that somehow was heating a good 200 degrees over the set temp. And a broiler with a mind of its own, turning on whenever it wanted. I cried. I wasn't the type of girl who burnt turkey.
Eventually, hours later we ate the turkey. And it was an amazing turkey. I was forced to reheat my sides in the darn microwave, and the turkey cooked in the oven after it was OFF. (I told you that sucker was hot.)
We ate at 9'oclock.
Looking back, it is kind of typical and hilarious. But, at the time it felt horrible. I wanted to be with family. I wanted a perfect bird. I wanted to post beautiful pictures on my basic blog of our Thanksgiving Day spread.
I didn't get what I wanted, and I didn't feel like sharing my defeat in the kitchen. Which, aside from the time I made Tiramisu when I was fourteen, hasn't really happened.
The next weekend, having recovered from Thanksgiving I prepared for my two oldest friends to come out for a visit. Our weekend was filled with food and wine and long walks and memories I will always keep close to my heart. Thing is, after that wonderfull weekend I started feeling sorry for myself. Those were the first meals I had shared with friends since August. I decided cooking is not nearly as fun when you are not sharing them with friends and family. So, why do it?
Thus, the hiatus began. I still took pictures on my crappy camera and wrote in a notebook what I was cooking. I started a new blog format on wordpress, hoping that a new site would launch me back to culinary bliss. But, the wordpress site has been harder for me to set up in a way I like. Then, a few weeks ago I dropped my computer on the kitchen floor. And now, it is broke. Another defeat.
So here I am back at square one. Sitting at the computer in the office upstairs, trying to figure out where to go from here.

I guess what I am trying to say is this: I am sorry I am so lame. I will continue sharing recipes with you. I will continue missing my old cooking group, and celebrations with friends and food in California. But, I have to start somewhere. My blog will still be basic, my pictures will not be anything Ina would be proud of. My recipes will be full of estimations and "dashes" and "sprinkles." But, I will do it all with love. Thinking of you in your kitchens, exploring new dishes and old recipes of your own.